Saturday, September 26, 2009

Nervous-nyer...

I'm nervous... I am... there's so many new things that's going to happen that fazes me. A new job (posting actually), new studies, new commitments, new plans... all this happening at once.. and yes.. I am, sort of scared at times. Till now, I always ask myself, why do I always load myself with so much things to do and so many goals to accomplish in very little little time.. hmm..

I'm not the kind to sit still and just relax. I alw like to attempt new things and see each challenge as a puzzle I'd like to solve. There's no such thing as impossible in my dictionary, just whether I'm game enuff to do it or not.. I'm glad to be back to my adventurous self like when I was in Kindy, and throw away all reservations of how and what I should be that I've learnt along the way to adulthood. I'm happy to be the strange and simple me again after all this years of trying to please others. After all, I only live once, why should I live it to please others :).. well.. unless I want to -lah..

Amidst all the hustle and bustle of work, training and preparing for studies, a trip to Kuantan gave me a chance to just sit back, a beer in hand and relax. I slacked for the whole trip there (no wind, no kite, but waked instead) and it gave me a chance to clear my mind and regain my energy for whatever's up next. Sometimes I forget to feed the inner me that requires some R&R time as well. And this trip reminded me to do so every now and then :).. so more beaches to come from now on.

Also, I wanna sightsee more, and go to the places I read of when I was young, like the vast grasslands of Mongolia, the sandy dunes of Egypt, the magnificent structures of Machu Picchu, the forever snowy and cold Siberia... that always filled my fantasies of how amazingly beautiful the world is. I got a whole lifetime to do it and as long as I have the drive to do sth, I know I'll finish whatever I set out to do.

I wanna let sports take a step back for a while, after my Ironmans, I'll prob do less races to save money to do other things. I'll never stop exercising though, as I'm a running addict.. but I want to be free of training schedules, training goals, training this, training that... and also cos I plan to travel at my own pace and not be caught up with the "damn.. i shoulda done a 3 hrs biking" thought. I wanna start small and gain experiences.. so maybe I'll try biking up to Malaysia first.. then Thailand.. and the Indochine, and so on... let's see where that takes me. I found a few good mentors who have done it before and a friend who wanna do it with me... but we'll see how it goes.. one thing I learned is that always expect changes in planning, which actually makes it more interesting, no?

I once said that change was what makes life interesting and scary at the same time. The one thing that I'm forever thankful for are my friends and family. They are always there for me... and they never turned me away.. tho it does take some knocking (literally) to get some advice into my head, and I do get angry at times.. but I know that they only want the best for me. 

To end it all, one life lesson I've learned is that there's no use to be sad and frustrated all the time... or scared and nervous when sth changes, it only makes things worse... if you're not sure about what you're doing... take a step back and think of what you've done.... there's no right or wrong in this world, but is it something you want others to do to you as well? Is it what you really want for the long term, or sth that you want to be happy for a while?... there's so many questions in life already.. and these to me are the most impt ones :)

Have fun guys!!!

Trudge on.....

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