Saturday, February 2, 2008

Love....

Wow...fast....even before we celebrate CNY, here's a post on Valentine's day already..hehe.. its not cos I'm love hungry or anything, but just so happened I got invited to a friend's wedding that got me thinking... why do some marriages fail while some other do so well...

For me, getting married sounds like a chore, it's more like something you do to make your relatives happy (or jealous) and to put mum and dad at ease. But, then again, I've always harbored this little childhood wish to walk down the aisle in a flowing white gown and at the end of it, looking at my future husband to be, how handsome he'll be and how reassuring he'll make me feel in front of everyone. But, that's just the first part of marriage, isn't it? After the honeymoon is over, things start to get a bit touchy. This is where some say that marriage is the biggest sign of commitment that a couple can ever have. It's not easy to be with only one person for the rest of your entire life.. which is very very long indeed... Even I find it hard to imagine that for the next 50-60yrs, I'll only be commited to one person, and one person only. That person will have to be my emotional support, and I, his... I'll have to put up with his crankiness... eccentricity... mood swings...etc etc etc.. wow...that can be a really big pill to swallow.. but, that was before I factor in real love into the equation..

So far, in my short and sad existance, I'm actually glad that I had a chance to feel what real love is, and thankful for it though it ended in an abrupt manner. Only now do I understand how some really succesful and happy couple can stand each other for eons before and eons to come. If you trully love someone, you would change for that person, and never expect that person to change for you. Succesful marriages have all this in common. Both the husband and wife adapt to each other, take interests in each others life, while never forcing the other to change for them. Any arguments were solved in a sort of rational manner, with both giving in into each other (maybe not in the same fight). Okay, I may not be married, but I do realised that I did changed a lot when I was in love.. a hell lot. I pushed away a lot of what I wanted to do and accomplish to adapt to the other person, spent a lot of my time trying to figure out what he wanted in life, and then trying my best to support him in any way I can. It worked out in a way, in the sense that I could feel him doing the same... then, when it ended, and I was working my way back to being by myself again .. it hit me that I really changed almost my whole life schedule, just to be with him.. amazing what love can do to a person.. and I guess that's what a marriage is really about. It's not about commitment in the end, I guess. It's really about falling way too deep into love, and with it comes commitment, passion, trust,.... bla bla bla...everything that is muttered in a wedding vow. When you're that deep in love, your spouse can do no wrong (unless judged by the court of law) cos you'll change yourself for him/her, and you'll learn to live with it. :) So for now... to Rahizan and Adlin... Congrats on your marriage!!!... I'm sure you'll be happy together cos you both love each other sooo much... :) Will be there at your wedding, so book me a seat, ok? And to all those out there celebrating the upcoming V-day.. think about how much you've changed since coupling up, cos to me, that's the greatest gift you can give to the person you love and best of all, this gift can only grow and make the both of you feel closer...

Happy Valentine's day on Feb 14th !!!

PS... Will try to link other blogs up.... still learning to use blogspot...

1 comment:

brandon said...

Love is never a pain. Its the people that makes it a pain. Its easier to get along when you are alone. No need to put up with anyone or please others. Maybe just ourself. Marriage is always beautiful. It all turns ugly one day. And it really takes two to clap. Since you can't clap alone, it is very easy to find someone else to clap with you. This is true when there is always someone else that is better than others or us. No advice on my side. Just do what you think is right perhaps. Thats my life motto. It hurts everyday. I don't think the pain will go. Thats what life is all about. Making others happy.